How not to clean your windows

Saturday, July 20, 2013

How not to clean your windows in anticipation of a renter before you move:

1) Open them to take the storm windows out, assuming the last owner or five cleaned the windows at some point. Find out you were sorely mistaken.

2) Chip/scrub/wipe away layers of grime, ancient duct tape, muck, petrified insects, etc.
I'll name this petrified window inhabitant Lady Anne Boleyn 

3) Close windows and hose them down from the outside with Windex Outdoor attachment. Get as soaked as the windows, as hose leaks worse than the Titanic.

4) Grab a spray bottle of blue liquid from under the sink, assuming it's glass cleaner. Use product on inside windows and storm windows to remove a film of dust and goodness-knows-what.

5) Become confused as to why inside windows and storm windows are suddenly clouded and streaky.

6) Look at bottle of blue liquid and realize it's organic carpet stain remover.

7) Rewash half the windows and then sit down to watch Gangs of New York with husband.
Cloudy upper-left carpet-cleaner window. Ugh.

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